NO HEADER.ü

Sozie to wordpress and beyond.

2010-04-18T16:21:00.003+08:00

I have to transfer everything to a blog that I could easily organize. And then... I decided to choose my wordpress account. Since I am no more a student now, I need to be more formal and i need to leave my creative-plus-complicated side for a while.

This has always been my favorite blog. However, just like any stages in our lives, one needs to move on just to blend in. To this account: I still love you, my blogger. xoxo!!

Please check out http://soz502.wordpress.com for new updates about my life.

See you there! :D

Oh Billy, I lost the game.

2010-01-23T19:54:00.000+08:00

You win, I lose.

In a battle of two, when both are perfectly matched with powers on the same level, ONE should always have to be defeated. There may be different reasons behind the defeat but the person who lost the game was never too weak. It may be of a mistake causing one to fall and wallow in the mud.

However, for as long as we live, there is enough time to win all the battles we need to brave.

Just like in reality, we play games; make mistakes; and get defeated.

But, why, of all the help a loser should deserve, everyone gives a piercing eye and a shower of back stabs instead?

I believe that in the recent battle I faced, I lost.

When I started to get so focused in every magical event which took place in my summer '09 adventure, an opponent had to boom a nameless catastrophe and tried to turn everything into black.

Of course, I never knew it was a game. But I knew it was a BIG MISTAKE.

I saw the big picture when I started to drop the most important details in my life. And yes, I was on the brink of getting broke.

When I thought that the make-believe was coming into life, I was thrilled and oh-so-willing to give up everything that was yet to come. A foolish idea - yet my stupid brain entertained it and embraced it without any doubt.

I was ready to lose everything just for the game.

I was ready to lose my best-est friend just for the game. I shooed him away almost everyday just to get rid of him. But he never left me. I turned into a pitiless best friend who selfishly thought of her own game. Yes, it was that harsh.

I was ready to lose my dignity to face all the eyebrows to be raised so high and the bottomless gossips to pour when I get back and receive the trophy I longed to have.

I was also ready to lose myself. I was ready to change every inch of Sozina and turn her into Angelina.

I was totally brainwashed and blinded by the folly and balloons of joy from the game which only happened in a small screen - into the screen of my beloved cell phone.

I was selfish and so was my opponent.

I didn't care and unknowingly did I play the game with the opponent's fans happily watching me losing the game.

I was almost trapped into the opponent's arms - uhm, i mean, lair. But my BBF didn't allow it to happen.

Fortunately, I never said 'I won' nor did I say, 'I love you, my opponent.'

Believe me, I never did. I would refuse a million times or for as long as I could. I swear every corner of the world, I know I did not utter those LOVING words.

I just liked the game and that was it.

I was ready to join an adventure with the opponent but I never ever ever exclaimed that I would love to be in his game forever.

That is why I lost the game for being the first to say, 'I give up.'

And he won all because he was the first to spread the news and intended to twist my line upside-down, curled and zig-zagged. It turned out, he was the first to give up.

Silly Billy. I should have known.

--

But again, I tell you, Billy. I am a brave soul and I would do whatever I could just to let everyone know I was the first to lose the game.

LOL, and I am still lucky that I am capable to defend myself from YOU.

From now on, that would be the last game for you, Billy.

You are now crushed and buried down a hundred foot grave.

The game is OFFICIALLY over.

"You need a break"

2010-01-23T19:36:00.003+08:00

Woohoo. I'll be featured in my professor's blog this Sunday! See ya there!

I'll post the link when my entry's already posted.

xoxo,

Sozie :)

CORRUPTION is just everywhere.

2009-11-18T11:25:00.004+08:00

Two weeks and a day of misery over a letter grade is just too much. Amid the sea of 'A-'s in my grade slip, who would have thought that an uninvited alien letter would exist. Yes, a notable D is a BIG mush pit in this paper island. F*CK! And hell, I got the grade just because I'm a DEVCOM student who does not deserve to be called an AGGIE alumni in three months time, or so I thought.

Seriously, this is the first time that some potato-and-quail-egg-looking professor had to push about 60 students down without any reason at all. No, I'm not talking about nonsensical things here, it is the one who's NONSENSICAL in its own system.

This was its so-called intangible and perfect grading sessions that we all wished we have not encountered:

Its faulty system for the Marketing Project. This activity is good for the marketing lesson. However, there was a glitch with its system. He did not limit the trays that a student can get per day. For some students who had all the time and resources to sell eggs, they ordered 20-40 trays or even get every tray available when they have the time to visit Manresa. Some students who cannot afford to sell 20-40 trays a week, they only go there when they have time to get their share of eggs. In some days, according to Manong Barudo, the students cannot get enough eggs when the Pryce Plaza hotel orders a thousand quail eggs. Therefore, some would never get the chance to get enough quail eggs as what some can get. The issue that we want to stress there is that at the end of the semester, only a few students were able to gain P3,000 – P5,000 when some only grew P300 or less.
ON MAJOR EXAMS, the handouts are expensive and bulky. One handout costs about P120 while other handouts range from P60-90. Therefore, if we sum up the possible total money we shell out for these handouts, it costs approximately P400. In the first place, IT should have announced from the start that these handouts can be too expensive and that we are to read a maximum of 240 pages per major exam. For us who are taking the subject as an elective, it has been a burden because it takes so much of our money. Another reason is, most of us are scholars and we cannot just simply ask money from our parents. In addition, how can we even read a 240-page handout given on the week of the exam?
Rodeo Practices. There were two Sundays (July 19 & 26) during the ten-day break caused by the spread of A(H1N1) virus in our campus and one Friday (July 31) for the feast of St. Ignatius (a university-wide holiday) that the batch was asked to practice rodeo in Manresa. It, since it is a doctor, it should have known that some students might be carrying the virus and might be spreading this to the animals and also to the students available during that time. It was clear in the university memorandum that all classes are to be SUSPENDED. Also, the feast of St. Ignatius is an important event of the university and this should be used to commemorate St. Ignatius and notfor its SUBJECT only.
RODEO/BUYING OF SEEDS as an alternative. Aside from the no-classes practices, the lab sessions were also used for us to practice the activity more. Therefore, all of us were able to practice how to do ‘RODEO’ and we learned the purpose of why we were required to perform the activity. For some who were not able to attend the FINAL competition (since it was held, again, on a SUNDAY), they were asked to buy three packs of seeds per variety (five varieties). A total of 15 packs of seeds were asked to be bought. The problem with that is that the buying of seeds was not a good alternative for the activity since it does not have any connection with Rodeo. Also, we did know how the seeds will be utilized or where the proceeds will go.
FEEDING of FARM ANIMALS. For the whole part of the first term in the last semester, every tuesday at 6am, twelve groups from each class were asked to clean different animal houses alternately. The batch wants to know if this activity was recorded and fairly graded in its class record.
THE FINAL REQUIREMENTS

FEED FORMULATION – This was the hardest exam we took for the whole semester. We consider it appropriate for the course. It was also good that it gave us the freedom when to submit the paper. Most of us took the exam from 9am to 3pm, sacrificing our lunch. The question that kept us puzzled is how it did the grading of the exam especially that we had different answers and very long solutions. Some students said that the exam was scored with a total of 100 points, however, most of us only got 5-10 points.

This activity has a twist, though. Usually, 'it' credits the students with plus five points everytime they are the first to pass their exam papers. On one of the student’s case, she took the exam for about four hours and for the final mark-up, she only got five points for this exam. On the other hand, the student who passed his paper first, even without answering the exam, got an insubstantial FIVE points.

THE MOVING EXAM – Although it was difficult, this exam was the most appropriate among the four that is identified as final requirements. We identified grasses, equipments, and animal species – a proper way to evaluate the learning of students from the subject.
EXERCISES 10-18 –We all think this was the most useless final requirement. All of us had to answer these exercises even when we did NOT perform the lab activities because of lack of time. How can we answer eight unperformed exercises when it was all based on lab activities?
UTILITY PROJECT – The students were asked to buy materials that could help Manresa. It was supposedly OKAY. However, the project was scored inappropriately - the grade depended on the COST of the material. For example, one student bought a material which costs P70, he gained 70 points. All of us only knew about this after we got our grades.

The bloody Grading System. There were students who did their best (although their best might not be enough to the professor) who got the same grades as those who are not often seen in class. It was nice to know that nobody failed except for the fact that most of us got Ds and Cs. This grading system is already very questionable. How did it come up with our grades? If it is true that all of us got the same pattern of grades, it only means that IT may be, as its title suggests, a better doctor than an effective teacher.

***

I know that it is not nice to assume that things were rooted from mere CORRUPTION in the classroom. But the thought that we all pushed to give so much effort, time and money for this subject is waaaaaaaaaay to much to expect for a doggy D

Sensual smoke

2009-07-08T00:09:00.002+08:00

touch me through your eyes
your voice swing me
like a silhouette
flying back and forth

caress me with your
soul's breath
swift your hair's fingers
along my bare arms

curve your lips
to my lavish look
fragrance shall flow
smoothly for your sniff

lock your face
close to my ear

kiss me.

bamboo's fault.

2008-11-28T23:49:00.004+08:00

Talking to self:

"O, kay bilis namang maglaho ng pag-ibig mo, sinta.
Daig mo pa'ng isang Kisap-mata"

great.
what the hell was [it] doing in my head?
okay.

BAMBOO IS GREAT!

i luuuurrrvee him so much (including his mates!)

forget melancholic whatevers. It's bamboo who deserves [the attention]
not any alien around.

i love this. i hate [it].

ahhh! scrambled brain. scrambled ~~heart.~~

-------

"I don't have enough strength to move away from you..."

uggggh!!! EDWARD IS MINE! (not ROB) BUT EDWAAAAARRRD!

I LOVE YOU MY VAMPIRE!

---------

Paano kung hindi ka na. . .

2008-10-14T12:00:00.012+08:00

The rosebushes of make-believe became bouquets
of real likeness.

And so I found myself deeply trembling beneath the wooden covers. Badly trembling again. I have wanted this all my one-month-long of staying out late in school. I've been - I guess - the witness of all the difficulties we have surpassed. The fire which stuck in our skins was at last, been at rest and far out-thrown.

The audience dipped their tongues out at laughing our serious indulgent of our successes. Yes, we were laid into the spotlight without some of these spectators knowing how far we have become and what kind of alienable things we have shed. I guess all of the Devcomm graduates became part of this exceptional trial. And we were one of those batches who were almost out of track. But thank God, we got out alive! We were there, witnesses of how the production became an inevitable performance. How it suddenly, or should I say, it became magical in the eyes of the many. I have heard no negative comments from the ones who watched us. Though, there were lapses, they were unnoticed and sealed from their eyes.

I LOVE OUR PRODUCTION SO MUCH that it hurts to let go of the moments that are starting to fade. Yes, we were obtuse but that made us all unique. That made us turn to ourselves and see through the edges. It was a great success. By far, it is the most unforgettable experience I will hold all my life.

DAWBI, mag re-run kaha mi??

*This is my chance to thank Nanette Matillac for a very wonderful storyline! Although you might not able to read this, I am deeply thankful of you for your approval and for making your story a part of our memorable moment.

Imposible nga ba?

2008-09-01T17:50:00.001+08:00

Paano nga ba magawa ang imposible?
Kung ang lahat DAW ay posible?
Paano kung hindi mo man lang mayakap ang katotohanan?
At kung hindi mo matakbuhan ang kasinungalingan?
Paano kung hanggang doon na lang,
kung saan walang katuturan ang lahat ng posibleng mangyari.
Paano na ang imposible na pilit kinakamtan?
Paano?
Paano?
Paano 'pag ito na ang katapusan?

---

i am a journalism student. but I never saw it winding up before me. i never really even thought that i could be a writer or that i can write. my works are often wounded with a lot of errors - and i've been too sad, too regretful that i thought i am better on the other side. but you see, afterglows are great especially when you tried giving up. I almost did. I almost dropped everything because I could not swallow "the tidbits of awful reality".

my afterglow happened at appropriately 11:45 this morning. Ma'am Van, our journalism lecture instructress, showed me this site:

http://aggies.xu.edu.ph/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=184&Itemid=68

This might be so small to your eyes or too big for the ones who thought that I'm bragging. But I think you should know that this is my first published article (ever) on an online site that is not owned by me. I'm just ecstatically something. haha. call me a loser. I don't care.

Gadget Lovers stand in awe.

2008-07-15T23:17:00.005+08:00

If you have a desk-full pile of gadgets, why don’t you try replacing all of it and consider a simple techie life with one that offers you everything you need in a gadget?

Photo source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/24535883@N07/2567371592/sizes/m/

Discover Samsung Omnia (SGH-i900) as it came alive to meet your plea at a world launch at Communicasia 2008 last week, at the Samsung booth in Singapore Expo’s Hall 4. Its name ensembles what truly it is made for since it is rooted from “everything” in Latin and “wish” in Arabic – for which it promises to carry out all you desire in a mobile.

With its fashionable and lustrous exterior, it allows you to experience satisfaction of digital entertainment as it sports its wide 3.2-inch
WQVGA LCD screen within your palm!

Samsung Omnia is also powered with Windows Mobile 6.1 operating system and an optical mouse, making you feel more like bringing your personal computer anywhere at anytime! It also has 16GB internal memory and 32GB external memory storing up to incredibly 8,000 songs, 12,000 pictures, and 23 DVDs. Plus, its touch-screen keyboard offers three manipulation kinds – a QWERTY, a 5x4 and a 3x4 – making it more unique and so easy to use.

The detachable and 400-hour-lasting-on-standby battery is also an exceptional add-on to its accessibility.

This innovative, one-of-its-kind and chic device will surely make gadget gurus take an exaggerated awe.

###

It's raining tears!

2008-07-06T00:51:00.001+08:00

The morning came and I had to be ready for school. I was so hesitant to attend my class (DC84 - Journalism) because I had a big fight with my bbf and my so-called ego is under the spell of hot, burning anger. But every time I get to these kinds of situations, I always remember that mistake I've made in high school. So, I chose to get up my bed and do the do's. As I went up the hill to fetch a jeepney (ha-ha! like Jill came tumbling after… lalalala), I encountered a jeepney which was almost full but enough for me to join the passengers’ swarming butts. However, I was too lazy to join them because I wanted to sit on the corner and own it for half an hour in traveling. And so, I joined the alley’s next jeepney and there, I got the corner’s seat for free. Yey!

FATE is already my bestestfriend for always allowing me to see messages through actions and unexplainable coincidences. When I arrived at BDO (near XU), I realized that my bbf was walking in front of me! Uwwwwwwwwaaaaahh! All my plans on escaping from his/her view were gone from that moment! And so I decided to walk straight and pretended I didn’t see his/her big body blocking my way. I rushed ‘til I realized that I arrived in our room and smiled after noticing that he/she wasn’t there yet! Waaaaaaaah. And I was struggling on what to do next because any second he/she will be facing me and start his/her explanation. I had this single decision over the matter and it was (at that time) fixed. I was really fuming and there’s really no way of changing my decision.

Except that I’m too weak in handling bawling situations. I’m too weak that all the rages I feel can easily be tendered. And I love every human who have touched my life – especially my best bud forever (bbf). I guess you know now what happened. Obviously, we’re friends again!! yipeey!

About 4 hours ago, I was at Loreto's to witness the 'farewell' party of one of the best teachers I've ever met. Before we went to the venue, we bought some flowers and cards for her. And everything that happened during the party was full of happiness mixed with craziness added with some ‘bulgaran’ issues and of course, tears. What struck me most is that she left words that are so significant to me – as her student (not only for values and things but also for life itself). That slight instant when she dubbed my name and explained why she will never forget me was like a chance to make me realize that everyone has their noteworthy place in the hearts of the many or even to countless beings. I realized my worth. I didn’t feel like crying, though. But you know that feeling when you are so honored because you’ve recognized a big part of yourself from a person you admire so much? Ahh, this is really so delightful and lovely yet so sad because she will be gone for another job. Oh, well. It’s part of life! But anyway, thank you Ma’am Lai! We love you!

it's 12:51 am --- OFF I SOULD GO!

A quick glance of bleeding fame.

2008-06-27T22:37:00.005+08:00

Musolod na, kuya?
Ayaw sah kay ga set pa sila.
Aw. Sige.

later..

Ang naa na'y mic, sulod na.

I was holding it right within my fingers. The crowd went silent as we entered the stage. Lights off. No music. My head's been shouting four letters: G-E-S-S! (God, Eye-to-eye contact, Smile, Straight body) I didn't feel any pain during that slight moment before owning the spotlight. But when the light finally turned on, there, I almost forgot GESS. I was overwhelmed with the yells, with the flashes of cameras & the power of fear (in me). I can feel the pressure and it was pulling me out of the stage - I almost backed out right at that moment! I wanted to run backstage & never come back to school again.. However, it would be the most devastating act if I would not do it right then and there! I would fail all those who believed in my ability; in my skills and those who helped me climb that stage. I know I just have to do it - whether I ran out of air or went off-key, I didn't care at all - I JUST HAVE TO DO IT. I felt all the tensions I've never felt for years. People who sat in front of me surely noticed it - the most shameful trembling of my whole body. I was FULL of EMOTIONS and it almost choked me. Yet, no one didn't know how exactly I've felt. And I tell you, it was great. That was one of the times when I FELT MOST ALIVE -- and ALL SEEMED REAL. Help me ring a bell again. IT WAS REALLY REAL. *brrrr* Allota thanks TITA DOI for fitting me into that wonderfully sown SEDUCTIVE IMAGE - some people will never ever know it was me. haha!

Off I should go!

out from vanity.

2008-06-17T23:42:00.002+08:00

'nuf with my face scattering around my background. I'll bring that back someday ;)
here's paramore.♥ coz I'm lovin' them mOre!^^,

PARAMORE ROCKS BIG TIME!

2008-06-12T00:42:00.004+08:00

OMGawd! THIS VIDEO ROCKS SUPER BIG TIME!

I love how Haley reacted after 'she' pulled the silicon out from the b*thch's bra. It's a sweet & innocent smile/revenge or a quiet fight back to what that ~~whore~~ has been doing to the other girls around. The video just can't get out of my system right now after I've watched it for 15+ times. LOL!

I AM INLOVE with PARAMORE. I AM INLOVE with HALEY! Got a problem with that?? ^.-

Cropped Poem.

2008-06-10T21:51:00.002+08:00

I saw her.
And my heart went wallowing again.
I saw her.
And my mind's lost again.
They told me I am prettier.
But my eyes don't lie
And I know she is prettier.
But my self choose to save my own lie.

--

these lines are the original starter of one of the poems I've posted here in my blog. Well, Dig deeper and you shall find out. *wink!*

My 360-degree share of turn.

2008-06-07T22:55:00.012+08:00

All I'm thinking about right at this very moment is how I've handled the most indefinite yet sweetest thing in this world. I guess you could get it right even if I would not slam that single word here.

I swear. I am overly puking just thinking of that word. Not because I do not like it; nor I'm done with it but because I AM FULL OF IT - I am even so very proud bringing it with me all the time. I can say that I am one of the luckiest girls in this world for being so blessed with that word.

However, I can say that I am a spoiled brat for walking this far (and because some one's doing it all for me).

[Caution: LAME words on the next paragraph!]

Those creatures who have stumbled & pushed me to the ground like I am one hell of a pest are now melting with awes and disbelief. Those mouths which have soaked me in a barrel full of nasty words are now vomiting with whats and wows. To tell everyone honestly, I now feel like I am greater than what I have been. And I have realized that I am not as ordinary as what they've thought me to be.

To that person who never left me from the very moment when I needed someone up until now:

THANK YOU & I OWE YOU A LIFETIME.♥

2008-06-07T22:53:00.000+08:00

talking about THE self.

2008-06-03T20:23:00.007+08:00

I got this video clip from Juna's Site. Obviously, that's me. I guess I am born to disguise as 'angelic' (as what most would describe me). I've always wanted to come out from the shell and let all people see the truth behind that mysterious yet pleasing facade (ehehehemmm!). There were already times that I've narratively opened my true self. But on the way people react on whatever I say against what they see, I just know they would never believe me. Well, that's life. Though I'm telling this, it doesn't mean that I do not want that amazing trait. Actually, that's something I am most proud of.. Why I'm telling this? Because I fear of being rejected, loathed & humiliated.

Homework uncovered. winks

2008-05-25T11:22:00.000+08:00

Magical Tales are awed because of eloquent words. Dictatorial Speeches are feared because of powerful expressions. Journalistic articles are looked up by amateurs because of explicit and accurate information. But no one can deny that in this century, much of this intricate world is already composed of inappropriate imitations, vulgarities, and recklessness – through the alleys of cyberspace.

I am but another victim of the pleasures within this realm of damnation. I am one of those ‘bloggers’ stated in the article of William Deitrich entitled, ‘Are Journalists the 21st Century Buggy Whip Makers?’ . I am also one of the many youth who are addicted to friendster.com or myspace.com. And with these, I have my own e-mail, too. I have known prominent-named aspiring journalists or bloggers within the dimensions of the internet. I was greatly astonished with the superficial blog entries made by (*censored*) way back when I was in third year high school especially that he is a year younger than me. And with that, I was out to prove that I can be just like him; that I will be able to touch people from different parts of this planet.But later on, because of frequent viewing of his page, I was able to find out that he posts a lot of entries regarding his being an atheist. Those made me feel bad because I was respecting one person whose values aren’t parallel with mine. It’s actually rude and classless for him to indicate that he is proud to be an atheist. Does that mean that he wants to carry the people who are his avid readers to the kind of belief that he has and persuade them to be like him? Because I was able to learn from him, I already have my own blogsite. I choose to produce lighter entries which cover my everyday stories and sometimes, I also rant. Unfortunately, because I was overwhelmed that I can have my freedom of speech in my own page, one mild rant made me experience a big fight with one of my closest friends.

It’s already a trend, whether we condemn the fact or not. However, considering that anyone can bring impact and be famous to thousands of people all throughout the world in just one mouse click can be a big defeat for journalists who are striving so hard to produce balanced articles every day. When you’re out in the real world, you’ll meet newspapers, magazines and the like in news stands inside convenience stores. You’ll probably notice the bylines of journalists printed within their published articles. This only assures readers that they are licensed to answer back also, through e-mail or through conventional mailing – which is much more private. When you’re inside the cyberspace, the narrowness, insensitivity and crudeness among bloggers are highlighted by readers. Yes, the old mechanisms of media’s checks and balances are still in place. Readers in the cyberspace, because of the fear of libel cases, sign under anonymity. That very thing could pull those bloggers down just like a total harassment with the hundreds and thousands of attacks of readers through the person as a whole, not considering the person as what he/she is with the written product he/she produces. With that, journalists should worry no more. They are much more appreciated and noticed by many, even though not merely the whole from this humanity.

I am actually tired living in this realm of damnation, or the cyberspace, which occupies me so much. This is something rotten and the smell of cyberspace is über-hallucinating. I should be out of here. I should love my own world first.

I just felt the urge to write.. that's all.

2008-05-24T00:05:00.001+08:00

I was a steadfast blogger ages ago even if I knew that I'm really not a good writer that could launch thousands of eyes into reading my entries. I am better titled as a "frustrated writer".. I used that frustration to charge my need to explode at times when I ought to vomit all unnecessary emotions stucked inside me.

Well, it actually helps. A lot!

I've produced numerous poems, essays and songs which were forgotten and misplaced. Just because they were all trashes - wastes that should not be kept. Overreading them doesn't help after all.. They just form the same emotions felt from how it was conceived.

Actually, it's not the posts I make that amaze me. But the way I've learned how to control those people overreacting and forming different misconceptions about the things I write. Well, it's still up to how open-minded people are nowadays. That reason fuels my artistic side and makes me want to dig more of this infuriating-slash-stupendous-slash-questionable realm of damnation (z' cyberspace). hehe=p

When half turns out to be better..

2008-04-21T15:56:00.000+08:00

Have you tried being cut & caught in the middle?

Me? I did. A LOT OF TIMES! Well, at first, it's something I owe to the world - for being (sometimes) so well toasted because people get inquisitively hooked (?) by my mysterious persona.

[There is supposed to be something next to this post but then I have to leave you hanging.. =) because all's not yet worth to be posted.]

-Off!

Summer Time = Em ALIVE!

2008-04-18T16:53:00.000+08:00

Haha! After ages, I've finally thought of rebuilding my blog. It's been dead for a month. Gawsh. xD *hides behind the door* LOL! & now, I'm finally back! I hope I'll be staying here more often. *sigh* You see, I've really been so busy. And up to now, my list is still full . I keep on hibernating amidst the heat of the summer! So, go check me out when school's up again, you'll probably see me way bloated than before.

Ohh! I even forgot how I usually sign off.

hahaha! SHAME ON ME!

-- edited: 5:52 pm

Trends, fashion and pop culture are a valid part of your life, but if you make
them your first priority right now, they will use up energy and money that could
be better spent elsewhere. Today, focus your efforts and thoughts on things that
are more permanent. The latest fads are good for a bit of entertainment -- but
that's about it. Your morals and your personal philosophy need attention right
now. You need to swing the pendulum back in the direction of substance and away
from style

OMG. my Horoscope is telling the truth!!

OFf I should GO??!

he's been out there.

2008-03-03T23:08:00.000+08:00

ieWhy does it have to come back when all it gave was pain and total blindness? Why does it pain soo much when I was not able to have even a pint of taste of totality with another?

His face went shallowed - a kind of mask that's almost non-existing.
I couldn't recognize his smile at all.
And those weary eyes I've been hunting before.
And that laugh that sprung harmony inside of me years ago.

He's changed - not at all a mess.
who changed him?

And mine came back.
I'm no longer his.
Those were again, memories -
Memories meant to be thrown away.

He's just out there
He's near.

... and a thousand more times.

2008-02-22T19:45:00.000+08:00

The soft swift of the air that washes my face

is a message from someone I've loved for so long.

Shadows of the unchanging time are stucked across my mind.

This impecabble moment holds me so dearly behind the grandeurs

BARS of LOVE'S MAJESTY. I am now a prisoner.

I could barely remember this kingdom.

I've been to nowhere - a place where everyone's entitled as BLIND.

Yet, my eyes stood & still bewildered over the reminiscences gone by.

And my heart? Oh, only torn and worn out.

I've been there! But never to LOVE'S MAJESTY...

I've been there to the place they call foolishness with rivers

of tears and vanishing euphoria.

And the very time I stepped into that place made

me see nothing but not right.

Ah, and all eyes on him -

And the world I endured was was so wonderful and inimitable.

Then, all ears on him -

My melodies sprung never for the kingdom and its mob

but only for him.

I loved him.

But for all those times, my heart bled for nothing

but the desire and hunger for FREEDOM.

"I need freedom!"

"I need freedom!" and a thousand more times.

Dumbfounded. Again.

2008-02-06T02:58:00.000+08:00

I am already a three-time violator in not using the appropriate shoes.

1. Because my shoes are too light, not dark/black.

2. Because, again, my shoes are too light! (daw)

(the former and the latter are different kinds of shoes and they're both DARK GRAY. It's still DARK!)

D*mn those stup*d guards indicating different rules of their own. Ugh!

Question. What is this pair of shoes made of?

PLASTIC - NOT RUBBER.

It's plastic!!! Gawd.

And, THAT WAS THE THIRD TIME I WAS CAUGHT.

NOTE TO SELF: never ever ever ever ever ever ever use that kind of shoes again! EVER!!!

T.T

2007-12-21T19:31:00.000+08:00

Move me away from

the seas of insecurities.

Move me away from

the waves of their undiscovered romance

Move me away from

the shells of misconceptions.

Move me away

And let the crab's claws

haunt me

and put my ego

back to where it belonged.

hehe.. trip lang. gdnyt!

Sneak Peek: My infamous Busy Life. hmph!

2007-12-20T20:30:00.000+08:00

Chillin' with my DevCom friends after class.

During the visit of 'Paige' & 'Kandida')
Left to Right: Me, Paige, Cuenqie & Leah

Me with Kandida!
WACKY POSERS! =D

Anger. Fear. Vengeance. Hope. Innocence.
"MAGING SINO KA MAN" BSDC-II version

DevCom Community Building [High Ridge]

The ORANGERS! ^^,

2nd Year DevCom nga present sa CB! (LRG! Naghakot ug awards! Whoot!)

Pa cute mi ni Joyce! =D

[BABY Pictorial]

My favorite!

My 2nd Favorite!

huhu.. luoy au si Teddy bah? =p

Credits: Most Pix are from Donna, Henry, Karakrakan and Jerlly! Baby Figurines: Me and My Mom! ^.*

CLICK!

Moi Bloggenz: Everything Under The Sun... With You!

slickered dreams come true - when I don't need them at all

2007-09-19T23:23:00.000+08:00

I am a peasant in disguise.
I love to be in the middle
Neither too low nor high
- where less of those eavesdroppers
give me an eye.

I am one of Paris Hilton's bestfriends.
Walking over red carpets lined through
the runway aisle is my main street.
But I will remain in the middle
- where anxious photographers won't
spare me their snapshots.

I am the talker
when one is silent.
I am silent
when one is the talker.

I am the writer
when he's the reader.
I am the reader
when he's the writer.

I have nothing to do with the case
when I can't reach one goal.
Because I'm only at the middle.
And no one raised me higher.
No one pushed me to the floor.

But my true love came right
across me.
Screamed the lines:
"Middle is still worst.
You can't be sure of anything..
Whether one day you'd realize
that you're the greatest person known
nor the only person drifted in the mud."

I'm confused. I just need an answer - the right one.

-sozie (written: 10:49 am; DC 2 A class)

http://502soz.blogspot.com

Now showing...

2007-09-06T05:40:00.000+08:00

-cebu version!

toinkz. resulta ni sa wai lingaw. heheheh :D

*thnx to charise and karen p. for making this possible.

can you get my bag, pls?

2007-09-02T18:29:00.000+08:00

So there I was, wrapped in a black-and-white-spaghetti-strapped cocktail dress. My hair? pony tailed and that infamous bangs sticked @ my right eye the whole evening. I knew all the way that the event would be superfluous - just like those debuts celebrated by numerous 'blooming' ladies.

I saw one of my bestfriends, Micah, as I entered FIZZ BAR. Sat across her and looked around. I could recognize many of the guests because most are from my university. More guests filled the room until the party had to start. One thing that boggled me was the thought that only a few of my sms batchmates were around. It didn't even reached one-sixteenth of all the people who were there.

Oh well, I couldn't blame her anyway. We've taken her for granted; too much to make her feel unimportant.

two hundred eleven pesos? :o tsk. tsk.

2007-08-20T21:46:00.000+08:00

You look it over the following listand see how many of these things youhave done. BUT you have to ADD up themoney amount along the way. Then postthe amount that you are as the titleof the bulletin.PS: the smaller the better!
1. Had sex: P40.00
2. Smoked: P40.00
3. drank alcohol: P20.00
4. Went skinny dipping: P40.00
5. Kissed someone of the opposite sex:P1.00
6. Kissed someone of the same sex:P15.00
7. Cheated on a test: P10.00
8. Fell asleep in class: P10.00
9. Been expelled: P50.00
10. Been in a fist fight: P40.00
11. Given oral: P40.00
12. Got oral: P40.00
13. Prank called the police: P30.00
14. Stole something: P30.00
15. Done drugs: P40.00
16.Dyed your hair: P10.00
17. Done something sexually withsomeone older (like a few years):P50.00.
18. Courted someone OVER 18 (if yourunder 18): P40.00
19. Ate a whole bag of oreos: P30.00
20. Cried yourself to sleep: P1.00
21. Said you love someone but didntmean it: P10.00
22. Been in love: P10.00
23. Got caught doing something thatyou shouldnt have been doing: P40.00
24. Went streaking: P4.00
25. Got arrested: P50.00
26. Cuddled: P4.00
27. Peed in the pool: P5.00
28. Played spin the bottle: P20.00
29. Done something you regret: P20.00

Now add up and post as "I COST P......if u do not repost u will have 5 years of bad luck
You look it over the following list and see how many of these things you have done. BUT you have to ADD up the money amount along the way. Then post the amount that you are as the title of the bulletin.

{Goodness! P211?? hahaha :) thanks to NADES for posting this survey on friendster. }

The Clock is Ticking.

2007-07-29T21:00:00.000+08:00

Global Warning: The World's Endangered Destinations

Take a look at some of the places that may be in danger—and some that are already experiencing the effects of global warming.

The Everglades, Florida: Perhaps no region of the country is as vulnerable to climate change as Florida. Even a slight increase in temperature and water level could prove devastating to popular destinations like the Everglades, Miami Beach and the Keys.

Kenai Fjords National Park, Alaska: A sign in Kenai Fjords National Park indicates where the Exit Glacier reached in 1978; about a half-mile away from where it has receded to today. A jaw-dropping spectacle for the thousands of tourists who flock to Alaska each year, many Alaska glaciers are rapidly receding.

Australia’s Great Barrier Reef: One of the most impressive natural habitats in the world, the Great Barrier Reef could be killed by increased water temperatures and the resulting coral bleaching. Australia is particularly vulnerable to global warming because of its large number of fragile ecosystems, uncertain water sources and a high concentration of people living on the coast.

The Netherlands: Popular for its abundant windmills, tulips, art and history, low-lying Holland—long dependent on dams and dikes to keep the ocean out—is at great risk from damaging floods over the next century.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, Tanzania: The first image of Kilimanjaro above was taken prior to 1998, the second in 2005. The fabled snows of Kilimanjaro have steadily declined over the past century, and all of its glaciers could be gone by 2020, according to a recent story in National Geographic.

Funafuti, Tuvalu: No countries are as fragile in the face of rising oceans as low-lying island nations, many of which are among the most popular tourist destinations. The tiny Pacific atoll nation of Tuvalu has been in talks with New Zealand about a possible evacuation of its 11,000 inhabitants if the oceans continue to rise.

South Georgia Island: Rife with king penguins, seal, whales and albatross, South Georgia Island, located just north of Antarctica, has become a popular stopover for cruise ships in the south Atlantic. Studies have shown that both poles are warming at a rate far faster than the rest of the planet, leading to decreased ice thickness and an increase in ice shelf disintegration.

Correction—April 26, 2007: This article previously stated that the penguins on South Georgia Island were emperor penguins. As a reader pointed out, they are in fact king penguins.

Dalian, China: Fast-growing China, shown here during a prolonged heat wave last year, is opening about one coal plant every day this year. Along with the U.S., China is one of the world's leading contributors to the greenhouse gases believed to be largely responsible for the increase in the Earth's temperature.

Venice, Italy: No stranger to flooding, Venice has invested $4.5 billion in a floodgate system that is due to open in 2012. New estimates of changing ocean levels have led some critics to call into question the floodgates' ability to hold out the rising waters.

Tokyo, Japan: Following Tokyo's first winter without snow in 131 years, the plum blossoms emerged three weeks earlier than normal this year. This occurrence is being echoed by migratory patterns and spawning cycles throughout the natural world.

Wengen, Switzerland: This January, 2007 photo of the Swiss Alps shows what some forecasters fear could be the near future for lower-elevation ski resorts. Climate scientists have projected that all of the glaciers in the Alps will be completely melted by 2050.

Manhattan, New York City: With high concentrations of population living just above sea level, New York and Los Angeles were listed in a recent report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change as being at risk of potentially catastrophic "megafloods" resulting from rising oceans and stronger storms in the next century.

Halong Bay, Vietnam: With a high percentage of its population living along the coast, Vietnam faces considerable risk from the effects of global warming. Experts worry that developing nations may not have the resources available to thwart the dangers of climate change as readily as wealthier nations.

St. Claude Street Bridge, New Orleans: Many climatologists believe that the increased temperature of the Gulf of Mexico led to the strengthening of hurricanes Katrina and Rita in the fall of 2005. Higher water temperatures could lead to a greater frequency of Category 4 and 5 hurricanes in the future.

London, England: Designed to protect London from storm surges and extremely high tides, the Thames Barrier was opened in 1984. Some analysts fear that rising oceans will create conditions beyond the capabilities the barrier was designed to meet.

Northwest Territories, Canada: Polar bears have become one of the more obvious victims of the impact of global warming. With about 23,000 square miles of Arctic sea ice melting every year, the bears' hunting grounds are shrinking rapidly. Some scientists predict polar bears will be extinct in the next century.

Source: live earth on MSN

http://502soz.blogspot.com

SAD.

2007-07-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

My life was bound to be broken eversince I got a mind of my own. I was wrapped with solitude, was very lonely and was afraid to face the world. There were some who tried to sprinkle a little care and made me happy for a little while. But in the end, they all did the same: ~~they gave me heartaches that will never be healed~~. Tired, knees on the ground, drifted with emotions - asking for help from every being I'd encounter. At long last and unexpectedly, my plead was heard from some meteor hanging from the horizon that very night...

---

Well, that paragraph above is, somewhat, a bit fictional. But, honestly, it pictures out what my life is... on how I see it.

I am just totally

Sad

And

Dying.

[[ don't worry. iL edit this later.. =) ]]

Off I should go!^^,

2007-07-09T22:33:00.000+08:00

I'm e x h a u s t e d. pfft. Will you welcome me for being alive again? hehehehe :) This should have been my first "great" post after 2 long months of being absent in the blogging world. Unfortunately, it's prelim week and I should prioritize my studies FIRST!
(nakz! hilas bah? hehe.)

I swear I'm gonna post some interesting stuffs here when the workload is ceased.

here goes my tagline again:
Off I should go!! ^^,

mwah!

Whoo! ^^

2007-05-19T14:46:00.000+08:00

I so love her.
I love Ms. Caridee!

--

[iL edit this Later.]

now, freeze.

2007-05-10T07:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when I'm HAPPY, I want to control every corner of the world and embrace it for it to stop spinning. And if only I was the owner of TIME, I would try to freeze the moments that I don't want to end.

Just like last night!

It was my loveteam's birthday and I felt so sad and angry because I could not be with him in any way. The night before his day, I labeled myself as a flat broke after I've spent my last bucks for my cellphone load. I did it for the sake of hearing his voice over the phone and saying my special greetings for him.

The day went on swiftly. I kept getting in touch with him through text messaging and at the same time, still feeling sorry for myself. Another heartbreaking incident followed when his sim was blocked. I don't know how that happened and it made me feel worse!

I tried to console myself by texting other people close to me. I just got lucky when Khendy, one of my blockmates, said that she was with him and also with some of our blockmates. I was then beginning to panic when Khendy told me that he was coming over our house. I suspiciously thought that Khendy was just fooling me the whole time. So, I just sat relaxed outside our store reading the book written by Beth Day Romulo.

Minutes later, he appeared right in front of me showing that mezmerizing smile I've longed to see for days! I was a bit skittish, frozen for a couple of seconds. We walked, heading to the spot where we used to stay and talk for awhile before we head to our own houses.

It was kind of odd that he was the one who gave me a present when it was supposed to be his birthday! I felt so abashed that I don't even have anything to give. huhu. The only thing that I could offer that moment was my endearment. I gave him a big bear hug and at that moment, I wanted to whisper the words I've always wanted to cough out but I just couldn't dare. It might not sound right but that's just how I feel. And I don't know why I still do not have that ENOUGH courage to let it ALL out.

Hmm.. He really made me happy... Hope I did the same to him.

Oh, isn't she amazing??

blog entry stats? rising?!

2007-05-09T14:24:00.000+08:00

I strolled back to my old blog and found that the stats of one of my posts is rising. The last time I checked it, it was 50 or so.. And now it turned to 107! I don't know why it's the only entry that's been often read. And mind you, it was all about my ex!

I have then concluded.. Maybe he keeps on reading it.
hmm. what do you think?

_

2007-05-05T16:24:00.000+08:00

Who is your favorite singer/band?
: Tamia; Lea Salonga; Fall out boys

How long have you liked them?
: bag-o pman

Favorite song by them?
: Officially missing you

Favorite song in general?
: a thousand miles

Favorite Vocalist?
: many very much

Favorite Bassist?
: nairda

Favorite Drummer?
: marc

What genre do you enjoy the most?
: all.

Do you Racked up your friend numbers on
Myspace with Bands?
: no, grups lang

Favorite lyric?
: but deep inside, i know, i'll be waiting here for you

Favorite male singer?
: Josh G.

Favorite female singer?
: LEA; Tamia; Yeng

What instrument do you enjoy the most?
: Guitar, Piano

How many songs/memory is on your
Ipod/MP3?
: don't have one

Favortie music video?
: Magbalik

Sing-a-longer?
: yep. sort of^^,

In the shower?
: yep!

Ever been to a concert, If so who/when?
: bamboo. with ate and her bf

Where do you hear most the music you
like?
: radio; tv; comp

Illegally download?
: haha! yeeep!

How many CD's do you own?
: about 40? i dunno.

Favorite one?
: santana

What makes a good song? (lyrics, bass
line, guitar solo, etc.)
: tanan!

Favorite guitar solo?
: lorynel's :

Saddest song you've heard?
: many!

Newest musical passion? (band)
: Fall Out Boys

Song on your Friendster now?
: Time in

First favorite band?
: ?_? simple plan.

Do you play an instrument?
: Guitar, Piano

Desirious

2007-05-05T16:03:00.000+08:00

urrg. the plum of summer! I hate to be trapped @ home dribbling over the time that should've been spent better outside the house. I've read a lot of blog entries and pictures from other people's profiles and blogs. My eyes just stand in awe to all the things other people are enjoying THIS SUMMER. I just hate the feeling of seeing the same walls everyday.

ironic

2007-04-14T23:44:00.000+08:00

Sa Bawat Araw na ika'y naaalala,
Bakas ang ngiti sa aking mukha.
Napapakanta, Napapasigaw
Sana ikaw ay kasama

Sa Bawat araw na ika'y nakikitang katabi niya,
Hinihiling, Dinadasal,
Na balang Araw magiging ako siya.

Konting Kwentuhan,
Ako'y iyong napapasaya.
Konting Halakhakan,
Magdamagang di nalilimutan.
Ngunit Kanino ba'ng pangalan ang LAGI mong Sinasambit?

Ayoko na, Pagod na ako.
Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang maaari kong gawin.

Sana naman tama ito.
Sana naman hindi na mahuhulog pa.
Sana nga magawa nang pigilin

HINDI ko na ipaglalaban PAG-IBIG ko sa'yo...

I found this poem on one of my blogs that I have stopped updating. I was thinking, should I make a song this summer? Well, maybe this poem can be a good first verse of a song, don't you think?

Currently, I am listening to their song. I could still remember the time when I was so fanatic to their tandem. I could remember how sad I was when one has to go away. I could remember the promise I made. Life is really IRONIC.. or perhaps, love.

One tick of the clock, you were there with someone else.. Then the next thing you knew, you were with another one.

Or you pretend not to be falling to the prince in the storybook but you never noticed, you're already caught inlove, trapped and caressed in the arms of the prince.

What I'm really trying to point out are the words, holding on. Holding on has never been a problem... However, it's painful - on both sides, to the one who is loving and is loved.

Bitter comes when you're only given a borrowed time. You've grabbed this chance but this chance would then be stealed back by the one who really owned it on the first place.

~~It pains me thinking that it could happen to me.~~

Whooooaaa! :o

This is too much. I'm getting too hysterical.

Off I should go!! :(

trying out korean

2007-04-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

Goo. Ugh!

2007-04-01T23:42:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep. I've been staring at the computer screen for almost 3 hours and I still can't find a single thing that could make me smile.

Chocolates - they are, I suppose, made to take our worries and goos away. BUT I don't know why it still could not figure out what's wrong with me. Why all of a sudden I felt soooooo nostalgic.
I'm troubled, I know. Maybe, the only answer for this tear-jerker feeling is for me to stop looking at other people's profiles that just haunt me and making me think of things that are non-existing. (confusing?..hehe)

okay. Since, I'm not yet sleepy, I want to share a friend's story.

Let me call him Mikki (for the sake of this post). He is a happy-go-lucky person and is loved by most. He has a girlfriend named Jazzy.

Mikki shared to me how he's so jealous with his gf's ex boyfriend because of some considerable reasons (e.g. STATUS; I'm not telling the specific reasons, Mikki might get angry :p).
Of course, I understand Mikki. Especially that Jazzy keeps on mentioning about her ex bf unintentionally.. (Uhm, not really by mentioning his name but mentioning INCIDENTS)

Mikki told me that he happened to witness one event (with Jazzy and ex bf) that was then shared by Jazzy to him.

He then asked me if he should break up with his gf because the JEALOUSY is driving him crazy. However, he also could not take the loneliness and the heartbreak that would be the effect from doing it.

-- The hardest and most difficult thing, besides saying sorry, is LETTING GO --.
I'm not a good advicer, okay.. I only told Mikki not to easily bring things in conclusion (that's what I've learned from high school.. hehe!) and consider the feelings of Jazzy.

(It's funny how easy for me to say this... Oh well. )

pffft! enough of this.. :)

Now, I'm sleepy... hehehe --,

-- Last words before I say good night --

A Qoute by: Edna St Vincent Millay

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

I just miss my loveteam^^,

GOODNIGHT WORLD!!!

Off I should GO!!! :D

revealed

2007-03-29T23:41:00.000+08:00

I don't know why you have to dig up things that are not for you. I don't know why you have to slap all my little secrets on my face.

Is it because I was just like your mirror image when you were still at my age? Or is it because all of the things that you did not have are bouncing back to ME.

I have MY OWN LIFE, why can't you have yours too?

Years ago and up to present, I have respected your very personal life. I didn't even laid all your little secrets open before my parents' eyes. Why do you have to put me in shame and make me feel like I'm the MOST buttoned-up person in the whole world?

But even though you really made me feel this way, I don't know why I still have to care for you even if all I get from you are scold and screams.

Cheers for you, my sister.

I just left it somewhere.

2007-03-21T23:40:00.000+08:00

*Bump it*

I was shocked knowing that one of the poems I wrote during the first sem was posted on the official literary folio of our school.

I remembered that I left it somewhere inside the school vicinity. haha. Funny it is but I say it is the chheeeezziest and musshhhiest composition that you'd ever read among all the poems and proses that has been posted there. And it is also the only literary post that has been written in vernacular (cebuano). Thank GOD that they didn't wrote the name of the person who really wrote it. [And I continue wishing that I didn't wrote my name in the paper where I wrote the poem]

hahaha.. :D
Off I should GO!! :)

Oh, that hole!

2007-03-19T23:39:00.000+08:00

I took a step to my left when I happened to block a car entering the sms grounds. Just as I took another step, I saw that there was a hole centimeters away from my feet. BECAUSE I ignored the hole and because I was texting, I accidentally slid my left foot down the hole leaving it soaked with full-of-ewww-thing-BLACK liquid.. [YUCKYY VERY MUCH!! :o]

Thankfully, my cuenqie was there saving me from falling wholly to that drainage(?)-something hole!

I don't know where I got the idea of connecting it to what happened during the graduation program of one of my bestfriends.

Okay. Let me go straight to the point.

I went there to witness the finale of the High School Life of my friend. I went there to see and somehow, reminisce the good old HS life. I went there to see shrek. I went there to see him.

I admit, I made some excuses to cover up my TRUE intentions of why I visited and forced myself to be there. I admit I was a bit flashed with the idea that I'm gonna see him once again. I admit that at the moment I saw his face, I couldn't resist but feel that mixed emotions brought by .. hmm, i don't know.. maybe brought by the past blunders or numerous whatsoever...

Gladly, I realized that all of the things happened in the past were just a tester for the direr things that are happening at present and will happen in the future..

All of those "feez" I felt during that night were just leftovers of those sentiments gone out and forgotten. I should not move back and take all those glimpses and little glances seriously for all of it are just cadged from fate.

Now, I'm blessed that I've got someone who's willing to be there by my side when I need him (just like how he was able to save me from the hole.. hehe) or even when we just feel like chatting or fooling around. I feel so happy, honored, and a combination of all those nice feelings all-in-one residing inside my heart. Everything is just so nice and so plainly unexplainable.. :)

Anyway, this post is long, eh?

OFF I should GO!! :)

I was wrong

2007-03-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

Yes, I am wrong. I could have told myself never to see her as someone bitchy or someone incomparable to any other girl. Yeah, she's pretty. So what? Why should I give prestigious honor to her beauty and leave nothing for me? Why should I think of words against her and her INNER beauty when I only know nothing but her name?

She's just like any other girl - longing to be loved. I may have acted so mean to act rude against her. And heck, I feel so BAD. ='(

I know you don't know me by character (because I know she knows me by name), but this I want to tell you:

I'm so sorry, even though you really haven't witnessed my acerbity. I hope I could know more about you.

And just so how I wish to be your friend.

God planned it so well.

2007-03-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

{talking to self = talking to God}...Ü

I don't know how to start this. I don't know how you (God) made it all possible. Or did you give me a sign? Maybe. *sigh*

The unending feeling of frustation has somewhat (hmm, i guess, partly?) ended. Yah, I know, I know. I should not sum it to the point that I'm not sure of. But you see, I mean, I saw how good YOU planned it all. That very day when you helped ~~tsap~~ "recover". Of course, I know you know who tsap is.

Was it your intention to let it happen on the same day? Or was it just a mere coincidence ? Phhhbbbt. Nah, it's not a big deal, ryt? Or is it?

It's just amazing.. I'm really speechless. YOU made it a day of recovering/healing and a day of a new beginning? And you even made 2 things connected when they're not! Of course, we all know that after healing then exist a beginning. whooh, *claps for you!*

Thank You... Again. For EVERYTHING.

I'm sorry for this UNpredictable post.

a bit wierd, ryt?

Try talking to HIM, too!

And reminder:

Don't just do it today..

Make it everyday! Ü

Just worried

2007-02-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

I could not complain to God because everything seems to be perfect. I'm just a bit worried and a bit confused of the things that might happen.

I don't know how I got this far - so far from the HAPLESS, SOLITARIAN and DISTORTED ~~Old me.~~

Maybe I was just so afraid with what one of my blockmates said awhile ago when we were chatting at one of the kiosks near the canteen. He/She said, "everything for the both of you seemed to be perfect!"

We could not tell. I don't want to tell. I don't want to expect anything.. I want to hold on for this THING which seemed to be borrowed - but my insecurity is driving me insane. I don't want to show everyone that nothing would ever top what I'm feeling these days.I don't want to scream it all out! But I know, it really shows.

*sigh*

Maybe, I simply don't want to loose it all.

Goodnyt! :)

Off I should Go!

Blinded. Bored.

2007-01-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

I've been doing the same things all day: Eat, watch t.v., Log in on the internet, make blogs for friends, texting, eat again, watch t.v... and so the list just does not end. I don't know what's gonna happen before I end up sleeping in my bed later at night.. I dunno. I'm just damn bored. hmmph. Maybe because I was trapped in this house for two days of no classes. My friends texted me that they were at school - chatting, laughing and all. Well, I guess this two-day rest is just meant for an overstressed me. hehehe :)

Yah. I'm overstressed. I didn't have enough sleep for over three nights (From Sunday to Tuesday) because I was trying to focus on my midterm exams and my previous rumblings about my newfangled hold on someone. *sigh* Why does it really had to come together on the same dates?

It's hard having a blog that's been read by the people you wanted to talk about. Especially when they keep on visiting your blog. It sux. I can't express explicitly the things I want to let out off my head. Over and over, they try to compliment on the things I was writing about and then later on, complain about why I wrote that. Grrr. It's just what I feel and it is what I really wanted to share!

If you were hurt, sad or dissappointed by what I wrote, I'm sorry. It's better to tell the truth than hiding what seems to be there, right?

Wheee! :) Now that's better. Someone feels the same way as I am! :)
Off I should go! :)

Away from Me

2007-01-22T06:34:00.000+08:00

I feel jokes played on me
Whenever they talk about you and Lee
They don't see the pain
Whenever I hear her name

A vision of regrets in your eyes
And threats towards what I feel
I even tried to peel
What seems to be growing
But I can't stop my heart from pounding

I want you away, away from me
I want to run and let all be
What (maybe) you and other people see

I dont want to confuse you
But you seem to feel it too

All I really wanted to know
Is who's on your head and
Who keeps you awake at night
and if your Love for Lee
Is still alive

I know I'm missing a big
Part of me..
And that is you.

And I still don't know
Why I think you still need
to be away,
Away from me.

Friend = Lover?

2007-01-17T07:34:00.000+08:00

How would you react if someone told you this:

"I just want to be your friend because I don't want to lose you."

How would you call someone you know that you've fallen in love with but could not utter the words because of the fear of the outcome? How would you call this "something" when two persons admitted that there is this thing between the both of them but both of them just wanted to ignore it and could not let anything happen?

We often regard this as M.U.ship - no commitment; just plain friendship added with a little bit of sweetness and care for each other.

We would often think that they enjoy one another's company... But little do we know that there are pent-up emotions hidden inside. Why and How? Here's a situation:

This boy and girl are engaged in a M.U.ship.. Both know what they feel for each other. Both know the existence of "magic" when they're together. However, once the girl goes with another boy and looked like they're so sweet with each other, the boy could not complain and would just stay silent on one corner, trying to draw a normal smile on his face like nothing really happened that made him jealous. Hard, right?

I would want to ask another question..

Is this what we really get from not choosing to have a commitment? Or we really have this commitment but we act just like we don't need to have it?

My day

2007-01-14T10:49:00.000+08:00

It is not everyday that I get the chance to reveal my appearance.. hehe, Pabayaan niyo na ako.. It's my BIRTHDAY! :)

I guess what's gonna make me feel better is knowing that even if I'm getting older and even if tons of KSP problems are piling up, I'm still loving myself and my life! Ryt? hehehe..

I believe what Confucius said.. To "be a lotus", no matter how evil, rude and ugly the people around you might become. As long as you stay beautiful in and out, everyone will follow..

I just could not ignore how ironically things happen.. One turn, I can get happy with somebody's smile. And on my second turn, someone's gonna screw all of it.

I admit. I did not have the sweetest last seconds of being sixteen, but I stayed smiling while sitting inside Pearlmont's Bayanihan Ball room. I thought everyone else were too busy watching the debut of my High School friend. Just as minutes after the 12 mn struck, Caryn, the debutante, announced in front of the audience that it's my birthday.. I've never been greeted that way. I feel so honored that even if it was not my birthday celebration, I still had greetings from a great number of guests who attended the debut who do not even know who I am. They just knew me as the girl who sang in front of them. It was really fun!

Things are getting bitter as the hours were slowly fading.. I even had my first day of period. Rawr! hehehe.. I did not even attended my NSTP class..

If bitter came across, then there would also be Unforgettable moments. I had my first-given teddy bear from someone close to me who never fails to make me smile.. It's also the first time that I received a cake from my LIFETIME Bestfriends, The Perfect Ten. AND it is nice reminiscing that someone made me smile while holding my hand during the "OUR FATHER" part of the 5:30 pm mass @ Xavier Chapel.. Thanks to you.. *blushes*

I do not wish for something off board... I just want a PEACEFUL LIFE. Hope God will grant me this one..

Off I should Go! :)

Wishlist

2006-12-25T16:02:00.000+08:00

this is not really my wishlist. it's just that i find him soo cute! ...

I know, this is just mere FANTASY. I realized that it's more fun having fantasies than facing the reality - not to mention, my reality. I wonder, why is it so painful when it comes to facing the REALITY rather than dreaming? Of course, the answer would be too obvious. We could easily let go of these fantasies which we only experience in our minds, by not having hands-on experiences or should I say, by not having those kinesthetic experiences of which we need to use all our senses. Life's been always like that. We needed to dream or kiss our enemies away. However, we also need to face what's laid on our table. Am I reaching to you, my reader? Well, it doesn't matter. Whether you've understood what I've jot down here or not, it's still your choice if you'd have to search for what I'm really trying to say here. Hmm.. and speaking of choices, CHOICES also hold a big part in our reality. Of whether we choose to live in good moral or not; we choose to FORGIVE or not; we choose to say SORRY or not, it's still our decision and we all know that a SIMPLE CHOICE might change our FATE.

We've done a lot of changes in year 2006 - may it be on political, environmental, or personal aspects. We've grown enough. We have also LEARNED A LOT. May your year ends well with a peaceful heart to begin with a new life in this incoming 2007. I am here greeting you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!! :) Take care, reader!! :))

Walang Sablay?

2006-07-18T13:28:00.000+08:00

I'd entitle this day as, "Walang Sablay". Last week, I wasn't able to update my blog because school works were piling up. But to tell you the truth, my life in college has no difference with my life in highschool. It's nice knowing that God still gives you chances to change the things you've done WRONGLY before. A lot of things have changed. There were things in the past which I really want to have that I can already get in just a walk right now. Fewer school works, no activity cards. Things were a little simpler. However, it's really hard if you would just disregard things.

Last week, wednesday, after my math class, I went to my teacher and waited just to ask if she already got my paper which I forgot to get from her. Unfortunately, there was this student before me who had asked a number of questions to my teacher which took a lot of minutes to end. It made me worry of being late to my next class. After that inquisitive boy, I rushed myself to my teacher and asked her about my paper. And then she just told me, "Ay, nalimut man ko.. Pwd sa friday na lang?" .. Okay, fine. Does this mean I waited for nothing?? But anyway, After talking to my teacher, I ran through the corridors, hoping that I wasn't that late for my next class. I reached the 3rd floor of commerce bldg. and saw Karl and Yam-Yam. I rushed myself and told karl to give way kay ma late na lagi ko.. Hehe.. To my surprise, the next thing I knew, I was already on the ground, with all those people STARING at me.. OoooHh!!!! =/ what an embarassing moment that was.. I bruised my left arm with two scratches, one at the wrist and a big one at my elbow. Karl and Yam-Yam then accompanied me through the STC bldg. Whew! Maygani naa na gyud ko dnhi duol sa amo rum.. and I thank God I was really not late. I washed my wound on the girl's C.R. and when I got out, I saw my math teacher passed just in front of me. Wahhh!! naulit gyud ko.. Dungan ra diay mi nag lakaw2x?? It means, if I was not making taranta, I could have not gotten these bruises! My english teacher then just arrived minutes after I got into the room and I asked permission to go to the clinic. Maybe I was really right...

Ako na nga ba talaga ang REYNA ng SABLAY???

off I should Go! :)

Finally!

2006-06-05T14:00:00.000+08:00

Finally! Finally! Finally!

I am able to find time to write this which I promised to edit on the 2nd of June. hehe..

Well, I was just soo happy @ that time being able to hike again @ the most memorable place of our barkada(& et. al.) which most of us call it 'heaven'.

We usually go there when we couldn't find anything else to do.

It was pretty sunny @ half-past three o'clock in the afternoon of June 2 when we started to climb the mount.

When we arrived the part which we call the 'meeting place', 2 of my friends came calling us @ the other side of the crest.

So, we went there and entered the private owned land which was named "High Ridge". Unfortunately, we need to pay the P20 charge upon entering the location.

We also bought ourselves some softdrinks and junk foods to chomp while we enjoy the said site. We had such great time playing around and talking about the very near future and the almost forgotten past happenings in our lives.

But Suddenly, the clouds dimmed and began to have a light rainfall and later began to shower harder when we were still enjoying the place .

We then decided to shelter ourselves at the closed restaurant just within High Ridge and began to walk back when the rain was slightly off.

We arrived at aluba and all of us are completely soaked.

I will never forget that moment when I sitted myself silently at one corner of a store when I felt a twinge knowing that those things happened that afternoon might never happen again.. And the thought of we were not complete made me feel worse.

Kung karon pa lang gani nga dili nami kumpleto nga wala pa nagsugod ang klase, unsaon na lang kaha kung muabot ang time nga maglisod na mi ug kita kita?

Hai. College. A new verse in our lives. Come what May... Come what may!

Just a small notice:

We're going to DAVAO tomorrow, after the orientation of my sisters. I might not be able to update my blog when I'm there... Just gimme some hugz, or a simple msg. @ my tagboard, or even COMMENT this post... =)

OFF i should Go! =)

Just SAD

2006-05-27T09:19:00.000+08:00

Note: The date is edited. This was posted on June 1, 2006 but the entry is for May 26, 2006.

T_T

[sOri, I'm Just sOo Sad and I hate to say that I can't post the reason why... You all know that BLOGGING lets people read your feelings or thoughts and I'm afraid that the PERSON that I'm going to talk about might read this. I just want to mark this day as ONE of those days I would really HATE to remember or just to REMIND myself never ever ever to FALL for that guy again.. T_T]

(wahaha!!;p DRAMAHA!)

Oh well, I have ANOTHER 'wOrds For Him':

~~Do you know that I care for YOU so much that even through many times you've unintentionally HURT me, I still do not know how to make my heart understand that You will never be MEANT FOR ME.~~

(This is going to be the last POEM for him... and I SWEAR never to make another one in the future.)

Sa Bawat Araw na ika'y naaalala,
Bakas ang ngiti sa aking mukha.
Napapakanta, Napapasigaw
Sana ikaw ay kasama

Sa Bawat araw na ika'y nakikitang katabi niya,
Hinihiling, Dinadasal,
Na balang Araw magiging ako siya.

Konting Kwentuhan,
Ako'y iyong napapasaya.
Konting Halakhakan,
Magdamagang di nalilimutan.
Ngunit Kanino ba'ng pangalan ang LAGI mong Sinasambit?

Ayoko na, Pagod na ako.
Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang maari kong gawin.

Sana naman tama ito.
Sana naman hindi na mahuhulog pa.
Sana nga magawa nang pigilin

HINDI ko na ipaglalaban PAG-IBIG ko sa'yo...

(ngekz. I'm acting sOo weird! Hehehe.. Why should I waste my time for this Guy?!!)

oh well,
Goo ByE!! =)

Treaded Stones

2006-05-18T15:39:00.000+08:00

Why Treaded Stones? Don't Ask me. I don't even know why.. LoL.. =)

yay! naa na pud ko inspiration para mag write ug entry.. Hehe=)

NyhOo, Look what I jz fOund!

I saw this when I was sneeking some old pics in the PC..

And I found out that I left a mark @ the peak of Sipaka, Talisayan

(the highest Mountain in the worLd! LoL. =p u know im jz kidding..)

ala LEO Orasion kuno..

Hehe.. =)

nah.

We just went there during Holy week to climb and feel the agony of christ.

Speaking of being a mountain climber, I'm so proud na ABS ang naka una..

Hehe=)

I dunno why I hate the t.v. station GMA.

Maybe bacause they show too much about the importance of ratings and all.

That's why, they end up looking like TH people or to make it easy, LOSERS.

Haha! (oops, peace sa mga taga GMA.. hehe.. )

Though I know na GMA ang naka una sa idea.. Hehe =)

Mga awatero pud ang ABS..

Actually, both t.v. stations do the same thing.

Wahh!

Change topic..

There's another pic that I saw.. But I never wish to show it here.

It was taken during one of the parties held @ our house..

Naa man gyud isa ka tao dadto.. Former crush nako.. Hihi!! =o

Absolutely not the eight-years-guy.

Hmm.. It just made me wonder why, upon staring @ the pic,

his eyes still give that butterflies in my stomach and

his Face with a simple smile says something that I want to snatch..

nakzZ! >.<

Pero, I already said No to my heart after seeing him @ wadhu's

holding another girl's hand, saying sweet nothings to each other,

blah, blah.

In short, naka move on nako.. Waheheh.. =)

* * * * * *

I recieved an unexpected missed call

From someone living in the past.

Hala!

kinsa kaha to?

LoLx..

'tiL here!

buhboOsh!

The Pieces of Me

2006-05-18T12:25:00.000+08:00

Pieces Of Me
[edited]

by Ashlee Simpsons

* Thanx to KEVIN for the reminder. =) *

On a Monday, I am waiting

Tuesday, I am fading

And by Wednesday, I can't sleep

Then the phone rings, I hear you

And the darkness is a clear view

Cuz you've come to rescue me

Fall... With you, I fall so fast

I can hardly catch my breath,

I hope it lasts

[Chorus:]

Ohhhhh

It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real

I like the way that feels

Ohhhhh

It's as if you've known me better than I ever knew myself

I love how you can tell

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

I am moody, messy

I get restless, and it's senseless

How you never seem to care
When I'm angry, you listen

Make me happy is your mission

And you won't stop til I'm there

Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast

Well, I hit that bottom

Crash, you're all I have

[Chorus:]

Ohhhhh

It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real

I like the way that feels

Ohhhhh

It's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself

I love how you can tellAll the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
How do you know everything I'm about to say?

Am I that obvious?

And if it's written on my face...

I hope it never goes away...

On a Monday, I am waiting

And by Tuesday, I am fading into your arms...

So I can breathe

[Chorus:]

Ohhhhh

It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real

I like the way that feels

Ohhhhh

It's as if you've know me better than I ever knew myself

I love how you can tell

Ohhhhh

I love how you can tell

Ohhhhh

I love how you can tell

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me...

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me...

This Song says it all. Phrase by Phrase, it tells something about someone

whom I've only known for over a year from now.

Yes, I admit. There are times that I fall for him fast.

But I never wish for more.

It's enough for me to be his friend and

I'm truly blessed to have known someone like him..

Wahaha!! =)

Baggadang!

Words for him:
The World is bound to be small and I care if you find the girl that you let go just recently after (maybe) 5 years of being separated from each other.. I know you still have that 'feelings' for her. Go on. Wait till fate brings you back again. =')

******

I went to greenhills yesterday to console a high school friend

because her mother died with the disease Lukemia.

14 SMS HS graduates were there.

It is really unstoppable if you feel pity for the family.

Loosing someone you're really close with is very painful especially

When it's your mother who took good care of you for all your life..

As for my classmate who lost her mother,

be strong! Challenges aren't going anywhere if you won't show you're strong..

And GOD BLESS.. Hope you'd continue life even though I know it's really that hard..

And to my MOTHER,

Even though I know you'll not be able to read this,

BELATED HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!!

Sorry for all the wrong things I've done..

I've learned my lessons.

THANK YOU for EVERYTHING!!

\\\i hEart u very Much!!///

******

whoist! I saw pala Mr. Scolum(Or should I say Mr. Pieces of me)

sa XU... 'tong mag simba unta ko.. Pero, la na tuloy kay 5:30 na sa hapon unya

kailangan na kaayo ko mu uli.. Miss You na, Friend! Hehe..

Siao, Tinuod imong gi ingun..

Whaha! Secret na 'to namu..

Hihihi;p

******

Hmm.. Adios, Friends!!

HS Life

2006-04-30T12:57:00.000+08:00

Haii.. High SchOoL LiFe...

1) Inaaway mo ba yung gurad sa gate nyo pag di ka pinapapasok?
``` dili kay maka sulod ra man gyapun ko. =) Mangayo lang ug slip kang Ma'am Karen , AyuZz naH!

2) Lagi ka bang nalelate?
``` Almost every flag ceremony! Lol. Langan sayoO kau! hehe.. La na dayun ko na late kau adtong gi change ang time from 7:40 to 8:00... =)

3) Complete Uniform ka ba lagi?
``` Uhm, dili.. Sahay man gyud gkalimtan nko akong ID. Tsk.. Tsk..

4) Sumusunod ka ba lagi sa mga school rules?
``` Oo.. kay kailangan man. Student Council man gud! =p Pero, naa man cguro tyms nga lako ka follow.. Lol. =)

5) Kumakanta ka ba ng Pambansang Awit at School Hymn tuwing Flag Ceremonies?
``` U-huh..

6) Active ka ba sa klase?
``` Sahay, pag groupings.. Ug kung Physics! Pero, dili japun ko kasabot.. Toink! =p

7) Mababa ba ang IQ mo o mataas?
``` err.. ambOt lang.. =/

8) Nakikipagdaldalan ka ba habang naglelesson ang teacher?
``` Sahay... Lol =)

9) Hinaharass mo ba ang mga teacher niyo?
``` huh?! heLLUhrRsh.. Murag sila kaha ang gapang harass! haha! peace!

10) Napapunta ka na ba sa prefect of discipline's office dahil sa kabalbalan?
``` NoOo! As in, ZERO! =)

11) Napahiya ka na ba sa klase?
``` ay! hihih.. ikadaghan! TOO MANY to mention. Lolz=)

12) Napahiya ka na ba ng teacher sa klase?
``` oo. hmmph! =0

13) Gumagawa ka ba ng assgn. o copya?
``` depends.. kung dali ra, gabuhat. kung dili, mag copya. hihi=p

14) kumakain ka ba tuwing break?
``` Langan! Ako kaha ang Snack Bag sa among Barkada! LoLzZz..! =p

15) Ano ang firstline ng School Hymn ninyo?
``` St. Mary's on the hill..

16) Naging Medalist ka na ba?
``` 3rd yr., Bronze Medalist. 4th yr., nawala ko sa lista.. crap! >.< hehe="p" lol="p">PHYSICS!! >_<>CUGAY nuon!! Gosh!! Gimingaw na nuon ko, ngeh! >.< 28) In general,love mo highschool?
``` Of course I do! VERY MUCH!!

Hahaii.. I juz want to post this because I know a month from now, skwela napud! Ang nakalahi lang, dili na pareho nga school akong sudlan.. =/ University na! Huhu.. And I will miss my barkadas.. Especially MarKiE nga maglarga na karong May 5 , Janus karong May 8 [Both Markie and Janus are going to Manila, Skul sila sa U.P.] and Jo-Ann.. dili ko kblo when siya maglarga pero sa MSU daw siya mag school sa Marawi.. Huhu.. =(

iLL Miss You Guys!! Take Care Moh.. Ayaw mo Pagutom..!

AnyHoo.. AnyHoW.. AnyWeiZz..

Watch sa ko PBB.. =p

Adios Mi Amigo/Amiga!

Mr. Jigs

2006-04-29T15:11:00.000+08:00

I could always remember the thud of the stereo banging in the hall,the aroma of the flowers scattered all along the red carpet,the shimmering dresses of every girl in the room,the dim of the soft lights
and
the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.

Nyeh.

Okay..

I was actually joking about the tears.

Hehe..
By accident, I was reminded about the PROM night

when I happened to see 'Mr. Jigs'(my grade 1 crush.. Haha! Na remember pa nako! Woohoo!)wandering around limketkai mall.He wore a pink shirt with matching hip pants and a wooden necklace wrapped around his neck.Sosyalan! Naka-pink!
. . . r e m i n i s c e
The PROM Proper: (02/24/06)

Before the program started,

there were students from ANGELICUM LEARNING CENTRE

staying near our venue. There I saw 'Mr. Jigs'

when coincidentally their school also set the date and the time same as ours.

[[[That was the reason why my memory had this rewind to all the

goings-on during the Prom with a HUGE

exemption with what I felt about skidfo that night.

Hehe..]]]

Where man mi nagka classmates?!

I studied @ Angelicum when I was in kinder 2 and grade 1.

Why name him 'Mr. Jigs'?!

Kay Jig means leap and leap is quite connected with dancing. He really dances well and it made him won the title 'Mr. Valentines' on Valentines day when we were still in grade 1.

Kay Naka-talk na man pud ko about

skidfo

Lubos-luboson na lang pud nako

La'y Lingaw nah.

I was Thinking about him

Some minutes after I woke up.

I was still in Bed that time.

I washed my face,

Went to the other room,

Went outside.

'Nganu kha siya ang

nasa akong utok karon?'

I went inside, and suddenly,

I remembered that very Sunday..

Katong kami ra duha [inc. the guard]

sa school. Grabeh amo sturya adto..

Lingaw siya, infairness..

And then, suddenly,

I laughed. haha..

I just could not imagine both of us

talking like we're really that close.

Gosh. Basig FC ra kaau ko adto nga tym, bh?!

I dunno why the wind brought me to the calendar.

Hmm.. Let me look @ the date today..

*GASP!!*

Nag one month na diay ang iyang birthday?!

wow..

so, that's it.

Mao siguro to.. 1 month na after sa iya birthday..

Mao siguro siya ako gka think..

Cge, tulog nako..

ChEe ciaO! =)

Learn to FORGET

2006-04-24T13:16:00.000+08:00

Do you think that it’s easy to solve a problem when your enemy
Would not spare a second to talk to you?
I’ve gone inquisitive about this problem
But I think there is no time left
For it to be solved.
I just lost my smart SIM card.

But everywhere I go,
Even if I lost the very thing
that would bring our friendship back,
I could never ever erase even
A single letter of his name
In my mind. Just like last night, a high
School friend was asking,
“Ooi, kumusta na man mo ni ‘skidfo’?!”
The moment I read his name on that text message,
I felt like my heart was torn into pieces again.

Though I know he has done something bad to me,
and I know for myself
that I've been very bad to him, too.
I did not seek or have done something like revenge.
However, someone did it for me
but I never ordered him/her to do it.
I could not just blame him/her but I think
he/she has worsen the situation.

Ugh!
I wish I never told him/her my hard feelings for 'skidfo'!
*sighs*

Off I should GO!

pissed

2006-04-19T08:18:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Look - If you can't take reading Explicit Awful Words, then might as well don't read this entry!

Hell.

I'm soo down in the dumps.

I did everything to get some praises.

But I did not even got a single 'wOw'.

dO you get what I mean?!

I did everything.

did some searching.

didn't slept well for about 90+ days just to be able to create

an impressive work.

No. This isn't about school.

This is about something CRAP.

Do you know how it feels?

When all the things you've done didn't paid off?!

And wOrst, ALL those praises I should have earned

were given to someone who doesn't even deserve one.

Damn.

There are only two things

I want to tell YOU, my precious Foe!

Eat that CRAP

and

hihi =p
Now, I feel better.

Forbidden Thoughts

2006-04-13T09:19:00.000+08:00

I found myself doing nothing but munching all day.

It is good to have another hobby besides gluing yourself in front of the computer.

And mine is playing the piano.

Narda was stuck on my mind since I first heard it.

Even my friend, Sheena, is pleading me to sing Narda while she plays the guitar.

Unfortunately, her guitar lost its strings and she still needs to fix it.

I was beginning to play the song that was first taught to me with my first piano teacher.

She was the ex-girlfriend of my uncle.

She taught me playing WIDOW piano pieces and how to position your fingers on the keyboard.

I have learned a lot from her but her teaching with me ended when she had to go on a board exam in Manila.

Then I had this crazy thought in mind…

Why shouldnt I play NARDA in the piano?!

Lucky for me that by the first chance I was able to hit the first note on the piano correctly and began to finish the song..

My sister also learned playing the piano because of me. She plays the songs I write in widow and that makes me proud of myself.. hehehe.. and a part for my sister… Lol.

When I was kinda saturated with thinking of the notes for NARDA, my mind began to search for other piano pcs. that I can play without a copy.

The next thing I knew, I was already playing the song Beauty and Beast.

I started to reminisce as I continue pressing the keys.

Out of the Blue, I could not believe myself still being able to play that song.

Together with that song was a story that ended well and a beginning of a new story.

Whew.

I dont want you to read that story here.

I need to protect this blog and I dont want that incident to happen again when I had this unexpected fight with a friend when he/she was able to read my old blog.

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Thoughts are thoughts and they are, for me, unchangeable. I mean, there is time for everything. And there is time for change. ryt?

Hehehe…gtg!!

What's in my Journal?

2006-04-13T08:51:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone!! It's gOod to be bacK herE...!!! ;p

LATE BREAKING UPDATE:

We went to Cebu last FridAy and I knoW that I wOuld not be able to update my blog whiLe im there.. sO, I decided to place an indication that i'm on a blog leave. hehe..

`* Cebu - The pLace to be. *`

[what's in my journal?]

On Board @ Cebu Ferries

Time: 7:15 pm

April 7, 2006, Friday

Departure Time: 8:00 p.m.

I'm here on my bed writing on my journal.

I'd be posting this on my blog the moment I'd be home. tEeheE!! ;p

Brrr.. i tell you. my bEd is located near the aircon and it's soo damn coLd!!=/

I can see the window way up here.

Josh, Mark and Sheena are still getting in touch with me right now through text

and I know later the signal would be out.

Wish it would not be that soon after we leave CDO..

Time: 7:45 pm

Now, I'm here @ Cebu ferries' RestObar with my famiLy to get some foOd to eat.

Why at this time and place would I still hear that sOng?!!

Which reminds me of someone.

Please bear with me.

I'm really that sensitive in hearing songs especially when I do not want to hear it.

Next sOng PLEASE! :o

bLah.

Forget abOut it. hmmph.

but honestly speaking...

i really do miss him. =/

believe it or not.

His messages are still stored in my phone

and my hands are just too weak to erase them. huhuhu.. =(

Question in mind: Why can't I dare erase them?!
Reason: I'm still seeking for an answer and hope to find them on those messages. [convincing?!]
words for myself: huh?! you mean, finding an answer by reading it over and over again?! Gosh. You're going crazy, soz!

I have to go back to my bed after this and do some other things.

oh, anyway, I saw Ana MArfori with her famiLy but we weren't able to greet each other.. hehe.. =p

11:00

The signal is out. I guess I just have to sleep.

April 8, 2006

2:16 am

WhOa!! 11 messages recieved?!

Oh well.. It's good to have the signal back.

I thought everyone's asleep.

It's nice to still hear from Josh at this time of the day. h

ehehe... Naa daw siya ManiLa?! hmm..

April 8, 2006

Time:@ about 7:00

Arrived @ Cebu.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZAI!!! =) Zai's here @ Cebu,too..
We're going to stay @ the Paragon Hotel just near Robinson's Mall and we'll be having a visit on different tourist spots in Cebu later after we eat our breakfast..

It was a great luck for us because we were able to borrow a car and (take note!;p) a DRIVER.. WeEeHh!! Thanks to my dad's friend!!

That way, we did not have to struggle looking for taxis in every stop we take on different spots, spend too much money and being lost in Cebu. And dili lang siya driver, hah..pwede sad siya mahimog TOURIST GUIDE. hehehe...=p

He always knows where the best places in Cebu are located and Where you can buy cheaper things that are only found in Cebu.

On Board @ Trans Asia

April 9, 2006

Sunday

Departure Time: 8:00 pm

Whew!

Now, we're here @ Trans Asia because my father already wants the driver to take some rest. Don't you think it's too early for us to be here?!

Pero ok lang.. Gikapoy na man pud ko.. I also found out that the food here in Trans Asia are much more cheaper than those @ Cebu Ferries.

It's too soon for us to be back to CDO. I also feel like I want to stay in Cebu a little more longer. Let's say, 4 years?! heheheh.. Just kidding.

I don't wanna leave CDO, too.. But if you look at it, there are more job opportunities in Cebu than in CDO...

My sister also told me that she wanted to work in Cebu. heheh..

Then we had this silly thought of 'what if both of us would stay in Cebu..?'..

I'll study there and at the same time, she'll also be working there. Hahah.. ana dayon akong mommy, "Dawbi kug mag away mo?! Kamo pa jud duha nga grabeh kaayo mo mag away..." hahah.. Lage noh?! Tama akong mommy... hehehe=p

Bored

2006-04-05T06:59:00.000+08:00

[image originally drawn by sozina]

B O R e d .

i am truly a w.i.t.c.h fan.

and i like drawing their faces.

i'm just bored stiff here @ home

and decided to post my drawings.

i accept it.

i'm not good with these stuffs.

i just enjoy doing them as another way to break the boredom.

Distorted

2006-04-04T14:19:00.000+08:00

[image originally drawn by sozina]

D i s t o r t e d ?!

i never felt right these days...

i miss going out wif my friends.

and all i do all day is

write.

read.

watch.

listen.

it's hard living a life like no one cared.

Lost

2006-04-04T04:30:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to write something here

in my newly updated blog for quite some days ago...

But things were just too shuffled

and I could not get enough time on posting my entries...

PerHaPs Its tIme fOr mE to VeNt aLL PeNt-Up hEartAchEs hEre..

` * tHe so-caLLed 'FUTURE' * `

bLah.
ColleGe Life for mE wiLL staRt 2 mOnths fRom now

aNd I still could not figure out what cOursE to take...

Relatives KeEp on teLLing me tO takE uP NURSING...

But hOw cOuLd I take a cOurse that is not even within my interest...

and I also think I do noT haVe muCh aBiLity on it...

Pfft.

Ooh.. if onLy it wOuLd be tHat eAsy tO cOugh Out tHe

bEst cOurse thAt fitS my abiLities, hObbIes and inTerests...

` * pLanted hOpe * `

What'S nOt tO LikE wiTh sOmeOne wHo maDe yOur Life

HAPPY amIdst aLL thoSe difFerent paIns and hArdshipS thE wOrLd gave?
daYs, mOnths ... anD nOw, a YEar have paSsed and...

' da#n '

I stiLL caNnot geT him Off mY sYsteM ! ! !

He's aLL that I eVer wanTed And now, wHy do I stiLL finD mysELf

waTering tHe pLantEd HOPE in My HearT eVerY timE I sEe hiM...???

wieRd.

a smiLe & a 5 sec. taLk weRe aLL it tOok fOr him toSHAKE MY WORLD. Again.

gEtting That Guy tO Like Me is MORE thaN a Long sHot.. Or sHouLd I saY

' SuntOk sa Buwan '

But How aNd wHy dO thinGs haPpen wHen YoU LeaSt exPect it?!

And sOmetimes... yOu juSt wIsh it NevEr HapPenEd . .

Meeting him @ the first place..
KnOwing hiS nAme...
knOwing hIm beTter..
My hEart gOing BONGGA! BONGGA! wHenever I seE him.. or taLk to him..
And AdmiRing hIm MoRe and MorE . .
etc...

ALL THESE I wish nEver HapPenEd..

wOuLd I stiLL aLLow him tO SHAKE MY WORLD over and over again??

shOuLd I stiLL continUe hOping??

UNIVERSE?? Are You TeLLing me, 'YES!' ??

tsk. tsk. tsk.

and nOw,I won't be abLe to see him everydAy for the next scHoOL yr. anYmoRe..And I know I wouLd miss HIM... sorely.

Off I should GO!

The Journey We Had

2006-03-20T10:04:00.000+08:00

= The Wonderful Journey We had =

Strangers in this busy world Bound to meet an ordinary day

Different people have crossed their paths

Unto a journey that's yet untold
Strangers now as friends at lastBuilding up feelings anew

Relations go deeper and strongerAs time strengthens its bond

CHO:Everything has a purposeLife indeed has its reason

Now we'll go our separate waysBut our lives will forever treasure

The Journey we had (2x)

Every beginning has its ending

And so our time has come an end

Four Years has been spent

With Memories, nothing can change

(CHO)

Bridge:Parting ways is hard and painful

Knowing all is real and true

But it's part of facing life

As towards a new Journey

Another path to take..

(CHO)2x

Ooh..Wonderful Journey!

Music Arrangement & Lyrics by:
Claire Tan, Sozina Alamban, Caryn Escobido and Daniel Linog

Back-up Singers:
Leonardo Avila, Kemuel Lapac, Glenda Malalis and Dara Rodriguez

thanking fate

2006-03-07T16:22:00.000+08:00

sometimes, you have to thank fate for allowing things not to happen. =p
Saturday, I was so eagered to have a hair cut.

but I wasn't able to do it
because I was stuck at school doing a lot of those remaining requirements
to end the school year [and my entire HS life =/]..
so, I planned to have it on sunday..
Sunday, i was always reminding my mother that I should have a hair cut..
then she told me, 'maybe later..'
so, I waited..

actually, we were at my lola's house, eating lunch with my
relatives because it was my aunt's birthday.. Ü
then, when I was playing with the computer, I accidentally forgot all about
the HAIRCUT thing..

haahahah=) and realized that it's already too late to
have a haircut when I happened to check the clock. =/
maayo na lang! =)
hahahah..=) you know why?!
hehe.. because on monday, when I was making a song with my groupmates in music, I saw HIM (the boy who made me cry, who made me
sad and who made me so angry during the prom night.)

going down the
stairs.. thank god! I did'nt have that hair cut I was wishing for because i
noticed his hair was already short.. toinx! and he wasn't wearing that cap
anymore.. he was back with the gel thing.. oh, well... heheh=)
What if I really had that hair cut?!would he be able to notice me the way I have noticed him?!would he smile for me out of the crowd?would he walk towards me and tell me he was sorry about the PROM?
*gasp*.. OMG.. all this time, I just find myself seeking for his apology..but i guess he was never sorry for leaving me alone, never even telling me
that he have another partner before the program started... or even during
the practices.. I looked so stupid..! =/ I looked like a j*ck*ss hanging on the
part of the room where the disco ball was hanged..
Why would worst happen when you think that everything is perfect?
Like just what most people say, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.. And now, I'm wondering.. What reason could that be?

off I should go!

ouch

2005-12-22T10:37:00.000+08:00

wala man...
dili ko kabalo unsa'y nisulod sa akong utok
tan-awa ra

kinsa ra ang nasakitan?!

I read this blog

and found major informations

about the girl

tan-awa ra

kinsa ra ang nasakitan?!

I really do not know

what's the point

why gakasakitan ko

when I'm not really sure

about it

hell! my heart's in pain

and I still do not know what to do!

pain

digging deep down the core

I'm trying

still waiting

to see you there

still thinking

what's next

no one believes

no one cares

NOBODY knows

I'm crazy for you

now here she comes

wrapped with

allthose flairs

I know she's the only one

I know she'll be the only ONE

in your eyes

I don't care how long

i'll be waiting

but if you'll leave

I guess

I'd just accept

that you'll never be mine

tan-awa ra!

kinsa ra ang nasakitan?!
wala na'y lain
kinsa pa man diay?!
ako.

NO HEADER.ü

Sozie to wordpress and beyond.

Oh Billy, I lost the game.

"You need a break"

CORRUPTION is just everywhere.

Sensual smoke

bamboo's fault.

Paano kung hindi ka na. . .

Imposible nga ba?

Gadget Lovers stand in awe.

It's raining tears!

A quick glance of bleeding fame.

out from vanity.

PARAMORE ROCKS BIG TIME!

Cropped Poem.

My 360-degree share of turn.

talking about THE self.

Homework uncovered. *winks*

I just felt the urge to write.. that's all.

When half turns out to be better..

Summer Time = Em ALIVE!

he's been out there.

... and a thousand more times.

Dumbfounded. Again.

T.T

Sneak Peek: My infamous Busy Life. hmph!

slickered dreams come true - when I don't need them at all

Now showing...

can you get my bag, pls?

two hundred eleven pesos? :o tsk. tsk.

The Clock is Ticking.

SAD.

Whoo! ^^

now, freeze.

blog entry stats? rising?!

*_*

Desirious

ironic

trying out korean

Goo. Ugh!

revealed

I just left it somewhere.

Oh, that hole!

I was wrong

God planned it so well.

Make it everyday! Ü

Just worried

Blinded. Bored.

Away from Me

Friend = Lover?

My day

Wishlist

Walang Sablay?

Finally!

Just SAD

Treaded Stones

The Pieces of Me

HS Life

Mr. Jigs

Learn to FORGET

pissed

Forbidden Thoughts

What's in my Journal?

Bored

Distorted

Lost

The Journey We Had

thanking fate

ouch

Homework uncovered. winks

_